Sciency Girls Can't Be Skanks

I have a creepy love of high schoolers, they just have the ability to take any situation an instantly make it ridiculous.

I was tutoring my favorite group of grade nine students this afternoon and we began to discuss the similarities between three famously “evil” world leaders in history.  When asked how the existence of these men has impacted us today one student immediately and with all seriousness stated “We have less Jews.” And for the rest of the class period the entire group could think of NO OTHER WAY that these men changed the world outside of their elimination of Jewish people…obviously they are paying close attention in their socials classes. 

I really do love this little group though.  First we have The Hooded Wonder (named aptly because I have never seen him without his hood on), he’s a scrawny boy who wears the same sweatshirt every day and speaks with a cute voice that you can tell is just past puberty, he has a surprising charm with the ladies.  I never would have guessed when I first met him, but even with me he’ll walk over, plop down on a chair near me and inquire about my day.  Next there is the threesome of Baby Face, Underwear Boy and Girl-whose-name-I-will-never-be-able-to-spell.  Underwear Boy is named so because he is always showing his entire butt every single day at school and whenever I tell him to pull his pants up he responds “But Foutz, I thought you liked it!” Gross.  Baby Face has shiny Justin Bieber hair, chubby cheeks and is my favorite because he never fails to make me laugh when I run across him.  GWNIWNBATS is pretty self explanatory – her name is long and no one can ever pronounce it. My favorite is when there is a substitute because the whole class anticipates her name on the attendance list and enjoy watching the guest teacher stumble over her name.  I thankfully have mastered the pronunciation but Lord help me if I ever need to write her a hall pass because I cannot remember or figure out how to spell it.  My sources tell me that Underwear Boy and GWNIWNBATS used to date back when they were still at the middle school and everyone thought they would get back together once they returned to high school, I thought for sure that they would be an item soon after watching them interact – so cute – but today he revealed to us all that he is dating a girl from a nearby high school!  As is typical of me, I’ve become far too involved in their personal lives and too emotionally invested in them as individuals so I gave him a stern look upon hearing this information.  He said “Foutz, why are you giving me that look?  I promise you would approve!  She’s nice and not skanky! She likes science!  Sciency girls can’t be skanky!” Well I must be a super skank because I hate science.

Other enjoyable quotes from the day included “Thank God for friends” (who let you copy their homework), “Yeah…it’s happening…” (Baby Face as he absentmindedly twirled my water bottle around with his pencil) and a loud “I LOVE YOU FOUTZ” from a rowdy grade 10 student as I entered his classroom (he then continued cussing out his teacher who merely told him to “Sit down and get to work” in a disinterested voice).