Napoleon Chronicles / Employment Rambles

Puppy motherhood is a challenge, full of blessings and curses.  Napoleon, while wonderfully endearing is also a bit of a terror.  Firstly there is his tendency to eat only OTHER dog's food, which not only gets him abused by other dogs but also makes him sick...yet he continues to neglect his own food in favor of the oversized pieces that make him ill.  I think we can safely classify that as an eating disorder.  Perhaps I should get him counselling.
In addition to this sneaky habit he refuses to use his inside voice while in the house.  This becomes a problem in the mornings when he and I (being creatures of the morning rather than the night) roam the house attending to our morning duties and he repeatedly demands my attention (or in more cases the attention of whatever toy he is currently wrestling) with his loud high pitched shrill bark of death immediately waking everyone else in the house. It also becomes annoying when one is attempting to focus on an important phone call in a separate room.  He camps outside the door projecting his bark as loud as possible to ensure that it carries through the wood of the door to make sure that I hear that he desires my attention.
I might resort to beating him.
Jokes.
For all his faults as soon as he falls asleep in my lap or does his cute little growl noise or cuddles with Rosie or  kisses my nose, I am completely in love with him all over again. I can't wait to take him camping for the first time next month!

I spent the better part of yesterday searching district websites for jobs.  I printed a stack of paperwork and created a series of To Do Lists in an effort to secure employment for this fall - I then had a panic attack and rambled for hours to the Crankins who probably now think I am on drugs.
Besides how nice it would be to have money I could really care less if I obtain full time employment next year, the absence of a job would just give me permission to live out some of the dreams I've been having lately but the social pressure to fill that void in my life is remarkable.  It seems that society largely evaluates people based on their ability to secure and maintain a job, and then ranks them based on what that job is.  As if the fact that I have not signed a contract by mid-July is a sign that I am lacking in certain characteristics or skills and therefore implies that I am inferior to those who have already answered that question.

I think an absence is in order.

My Transformation Into a Rabid Beast

Okay - so long story short (but not so long since it happened unexpectedly over two days) I met a guy - Dr. Handsome we like to call him - and for some reason he found my awkwardness charming enough to randomly engage me in conversation at the town festival.  Through a series of events that include both physical contact a joke about touching my boobs and the admittance that he would like to ask me out but is freshly ending a relationship he ended up with my number.

TWO WHOLE DAYS and no call from the man who has irrevocably stolen my heart. (That's melodramatic sarcasm for those who can't read between my hastily typed lines).

I expect the call will never come which is why I have begun my recovery process!  Yesterday E and I went and hung out with our two favorite waiters from the Brewery here in town (we're classy gals and are now regulars at all of the local establishments that will serve us alcohol - meaning the two where murders have not yet occurred).  We went to Lincoln Park with Napoleon and played Lava Monster on the logs, went on the swings and then out for beers where I bit the one boy who tried to drown my last onion ring in ketchup.

Yup.  Swift and smooth recovery.  I have now become a rabid female feasting on the limbs of unsuspecting males.  My last boyfriend would probably argue that no transformation has occurred and that I have always been this way.  Which is promising for my dating future...

I will leave you with a photo of Napoleon and I at the Folklife Festival at Seattle Center a few weeks ago.  He has since grown too large to be comfortably worn in my jacket.  I have yet to pass the rabies on to him.

EDIT: Let's take a vote - does this story count toward achieving Number 80 on my "100 List"?  I didn't actually ask him out...and we have not gone on a date.  Though the number does not specify that that stranger needs to say yes, only that I need ask.  Which I guess I didn't...but I'd like you all to weigh in on this.

100 Things To Do Before I Die

A few weeks ago I was on the most fabulous vacation of my life with two of the best friends I have ever or will ever have (many bold statements right there).  While I was on that trip I took some time in the sun to brainstorm a list of approximately 100 things I would like to do before I die.  I'm nearly a quarter of the way through my hypothetical life span and it seemed like an appropriate time to do some goal setting.  Here is the list as it stands in no particular order:

1. Buy everyone in the bar a drink.
2. Visit India.
3. Swim with dolphins.
4. Visit Egypt/the pyramids.
5. Learn what love is.
6. Buy a bathtub big enough for two.
7. Sleep on a sailboat.
8. See the Northern Lights.
9. Watch a coastal sunrise.
10. Road trip around the U.S. alone.
11. Grow a garden.
12. Ride in a hot air balloon.
13. Have a legitimate food fight.
14. Gamble in Vegas.
15. Take a sick day when I'm not ill.
16. Ride a REALLY scary rollercoaster.
17. Adopt an accent for a whole day.
18. Take language classes.
19. Visit Spain.
20. Visit all 50 States.
21. Dance with a stranger in a foreign country.
22. Go whale watching.
23. Take a trip around Europe.
24. Live alone.
25. Visit Italy.
26. Eat a meal with a stranger.
27. Have a "library".
28. Stay in bed ALL day.
29. Kiss in monsoon-like rain.
30. Mud-wrestle.
31. Visit the Great Wall of China.
32. Take a recreational class.
33. Get married?
34. Fast for a day.
35. Visit the Amazon.
36. Record music.
37. Eat alligator/crocodile.
38. Buy a house.
39. Live in the downtown core of a city.
40. Get a Brazilian wax.
41. Go on a cruise.
42. Punch someone in the face.
43. Take a bicycle trip.
44. Pick up and move to another city to start over.
45. Walk the Brooklyn Bridge.
46. Ride a motorcycle.
47. Fire a gun.
48. Raft part of the Grand Canyon.
49. Go on an African Safari.
50. Go horseback riding on the beach.
51. Visit at least 50 foreign countries.
52. Change someone's mind about something.
53. Get a Masters Degree.
54. Attend a major U.S. university.
55. Read the Lord of the Rings Trilogy.
56. Select one author and read ALL of their books.
57. Teach myself how to do something new.
58. Attend a high school reunion.
59. Go to a major sporting event (The Olympics, Super Bowl, etc).
60. Throw a HUGE party.
61. Buy an expensive piece of art.
62. Attend a college reunion.
63. Write the story of my life.
64. Own a room with a view.
65. Learn how to take a compliment.
66. Give back to my parents.
67. Drive to the tip of South America with Merissa and Chantelle.
68. Go on a honeymoon.
69. Get to know my neighbors.
70. Plant a willow tree.
71. Learn to say no.
72. Visit the White House.
73. Read while drifting in a row boat.
74. Stay out all night partying.
75. Feel beautiful.
76. Be someone's mentor.
77. Set a goal and achieve it.
78. Spend New Years abroad.
79. Give a great performance.
80. Ask a "stranger" on a date.
81. Go to the Mardi Gra Festival.
82. Spend an entire day reading for pleasure.
83. Get in shape.  Once.  For a little while.
84. Drive a convertible with the top down.
85. Go to a huge rock concert.
86. Do my own taxes.
87. Go fishing at eat my catch.
88. Visit the Statue of Liberty.
89. Go skiing.
90. Learn to bartend.
91. Run in a charity race.
92. Coach a sport/activity.
93. Ride an elephant.
94. Learn to surf.
95. Live at a campground for a summer.
96. Cook my way through a cookbook.
97. Learn to drive standard.
98. Follow in the footsteps of a favorite book.
99. Read the entire Bible.
100. Visit a volcano.
101. Make a book of photographs from my travels.
102. Decorate my own home.
103. Be in my brother's wedding.

Swearing on God's Holy Campus

Today I locked my keys in my running vehicle while my puppy was inside with the lights and windshield wipers on.  I then had to wait an hour and a half for the tow truck to arrive while I stood outside in the pouring rain wearing a dress and no jacket and then paid the man $60 to spend 30 seconds popping open my door.  It was the worst ever and I spent much of that time stomping around my deserted former college campus swearing loudly.  I'm sure God was offended and that's why He didn't miraculously open my doors for me when I asked. BAH.

Pacing

There is a boy outside my house right now pacing.  And staring in the window of the house across the street.  And every once in awhile he rubs his eyes and stares longingly.  It’s great!  It’s like a scene from a bad romantic comedy that also has a teen storyline to attract younger audiences.  He looks to be about 16 and is wearing some sort of comic book tshirt and glasses with transition lenses. 

Okay now he’s looking at me in here, what do I do?  Smile?  Look away – I’ve looked away.  Deeply focused on my computer.

He’s taken several steps into the road now staring at the house…now he’s sulking back to the sidewalk.  I have an urge to go ask him what he’s waiting for – but then he might say something like “My drug dealer” or “None of your effing business” and then the romance of the moment will be lost.  The romance between him and the mystery girl that I imagine he’s waiting to notice him out the window of that townhouse.

Oh the things I will do to put off writing my final paper.

Napoleon Chronicles - Part 3

Here is a video I put together of Napoleon's first weeks including a trip to the beach, his first playtime with some of my friends and his favorite toy: an empty Starbucks cup!

Napoleon Chronicles - Part 2

Napoleon spent his first night without Mom the other day while I drove out to Agassiz for Wade and Lenica's wedding!! It was a beautiful wedding but all I could think about was getting home for some more cuddle time with my little boy!!!  Auntie Erica took good care of him though.