You Know You're Canadian When...

Okay brief post to document this hilarious anecdote from my evening at home -

My dad's best friend from university and his wife (who also went to university with them) is currently down visiting from Northern Alberta.  They just returned from spending several years abroad working in Indonesia and they wanted to touch base and catch up for a few days so the two couples have been traipsing around the city seeing the sights and talking for hours.  So tonight, I'm sitting at the computer filling out my time sheet and eavesdropping on them in the living room discussing the idea of impacting your community - how people should not only be investing in places that are easy to invest in like their homes and their churches but they should also make an effort to build relationships other places in order to feel connected to the community you live in.  My dad is throwing out examples "Local pub, coffee shop, library..." my mom says "Craft store, grocery store..." and the visiting woman says "Hockey rink?"

Yes, because we have so many of those here and we frequent them on a daily basis.  So Canadian.

Napoleon Chronicles - Part 5

I have failed to post any updated pictures of Napoleon for awhile so here are some from the end of the summer and a few more recent.  (Brenda and Alan - he's doing wonderful and got lots of presents for Christmas.)

Napoleon riding in the back of the truck with all the "kids" after a long day of baseball and swimming.

His first adventures in camping.  It looks like his ears are wet but really he discovered a pile of bacon grease and proceeded to roll in it...

Nap and Rosie.

He always hogs the sleeping bag.

This was taken on Napoleon's first camping trip down in Southern Oregon where he also learned to fetch!  This has made it a lot easier to exercise him now that winter's come.  Also he does a really cute leap as he approaches the toy before bringing it back.  

Cooling off after a long hike around Crater Lake.

Deranged dog face - the day after Thanksgiving.

Nap and I...uhh...napping...we were enjoying the glow of the Christmas tree that you can't see in this photo.  Napoleon did a wonderful job dealing with all the excitement that Christmas brings.  He only chewed open one wrapped gift and left all of the ornaments alone (well, his tail took out a few of the lower ones but that was unintentional).  He got a new collar and leash for Christmas along with two new toys!

Top Ten Recent Highlights

Alright, so it’s been about a million years since I’ve posted and a lot has happened that I failed to keep the public updated on so I’ll pick just a few highlights of the past three months or so.  In no particular order of time or preference -

Highlight #1 – Started working as a Teacher’s Aid (or in class tutor) at my old high school!  Though I have yet to acquire any stories that match the caliber of my students last year there have been some great moments (see Highlight 3).

Highlight #2 – Made friends with the group of grade 10 hoodlums in one of the AVID classes I tutor.  Every week without fail they attempt to flatter me into giving them good scores on their tutorial forms and they intentionally skew their questions so that they get placed in my group.  This is all beautiful and touching but they are a high maintenance group of blossoming adolescents.  Can’t wait for break to be over so I can return to their demanding presence.  Seriously though, they’re all little BAH’s but I love them to death.

Highlight #3 – A charming Mexican boy sprayed me with AXE body spray while we were in the library working on his English paragraphs.  After he had sniped me with his foul smelling can of death he said “Now all others boys will know I was here…”  Creepy much?

Highlight #4 – Got to be a part of my good friend’s wedding!  The whole week was a blast and the wedding was a beautiful adventure.  Also my hair looked great.

Highlight #5 – This really should have been posted higher on the list but it’s late and I’m feeling wildly disjointed but I met a wonderful man and we have been happily dating for nearly three months now!  You would like him (yes you – faceless digital void – whoever you are – you would like him, he’s cheery and cute).

Highlight #6 – I went to Florida and spent about a week traipsing around the various theme parks including DisneyWorld, SeaWorld, Universal Studios/Islands of Adventure (where the Wizarding World of Harry Potter lives) and Busch Gardens.  I checked Number 16 off of my List of Things to do Before I Die!!!!  I rode SEVERAL really scary roller coasters! The very first one I went on was Manta in SeaWorld – YouTube it.  For someone who has/had an illness inducing fear of roller coasters prior to this trip I’d say that’s a pretty brave coaster to sink your teeth into right off the bat.  I’m so brave – heap praise and admiration on me please.

Highlight #7 – I had several hateful songs written and published about me.  They’re all available for free download out there somewhere on the internet, yippee.  I can’t wait to be a famous muse one day.  Perhaps I can sue for royalties of some kind, or perhaps defamation.  I taught law, I’m sure I can find a loophole to screw her out of not only her boyfriend but her fortune also.  I’m such a classy broad.

Highlight #8 – Had kidney stones for the millionth time confirming my suspicions that I am in fact an elderly man trapped inside a 24 year old female’s body.

Highlight #9 – Speaking of 24!  I had a birthday!  Nearly vomited behind Dick’s Drive-In by the Seattle Center and sang endless amounts of Celine Dion and Dixie Chicks at karaoke.  It was my best birthday ever besides the one when the Twilight extra bought us copious amounts of tequila and offered to show me his wang.

Highlight #10 – My brother and I went together to get tattoos last week!  He has my signature of our last name on the inside of his left arm and I have it in text on the backside/outside of my left arm.  Awww – sibling love.

This is a picture of the tattoo only half done, he went through and filled in all the letters after this was taken but I like this photo.

Sounding Like My Mother

I was reading through another teacher’s blog and came across this post that was too relevant to be ignored.  I will now give you my personal take on the same issue: The following is a list of Things I Hear All Day Which Raise My Blood Pressure and Cause Things to Come Out of My Mouth Which Sound Like My Mother. 

1.       “Do we have to?”

a.       Said seriously by students at LEAST twice each block – as if I just accidentally ask them to follow random sets of directions that I don’t really mean.  I just enjoy using my voice excessive amounts.  Especially near the end of the day where I have already wrestled with four classes of daft teenagers.  But for fun I’ll ask you to do something I don’t ACTUALLY want you to do – optional – for fun.

b.      Typically I answer with a snarky “What do YOU think?” or an evil glare.

2.       “How long does it have to be?”

a.      My favorite answer to this question that I will now be incorporating into my classroom was found by this blog author at a writing conference “The response should be like a girls skirt: short enough to be interesting, but long enough to cover the topic.”  Obviously.

3.       “This is too hard.”

a.     You know what else is too hard?  My fist.  Shut up.

4.       "Is this for marks?”

a.     I always say yes.  Even if I’m not going to collect it.  Or sometimes I collect it and then just hand it back.  For fun.  I know that a conversation about how this work will help them later on despite the fact that THIS particular assignment is not being marked will only result in 70% of the class failing to complete the assignment.

5.       “Are we watching a movie today?

                a. We just finished watching a movie yesterday and though it is so convenient for me it is not practical nor is it professional for me to show you random Hollywood films everyday in class and you are NOT stupid enough to believe that I will do that. So stop asking.  Because you know the answer.

I'm sure there are and will be many more, perhaps I'll update as they come to me.

Sevens

Courtesy of PigsTales circa 2005.

7 things I plan to do before I die

1.       Road trip the United States (visiting every state goes along with this dream)

2.       Live “somewhere else” for a summer…or two.

3.       Go skiing

4.       Travel to at least 4 continents

5.       Own a house

6.       Get married

7.       Never live without the ocean

7 things I can do

1.       Jigsaw puzzles.

2.       Read aloud well

3.       Tell a good story

4.       Use wild hand gestures when speaking

5.       Get an excellent tan

6.       Remember the words to many songs

7.       Complain

7 things I cannot do

1.       Say no

2.       Resist my obsessive/compulsive personality

3.       Play sports that involve a ball or any type of coordination

4.       Eat quickly (or at a normal pace)

5.       Listen to music in the car without singing along

6.       Walk in heels

7.       Choose

7 things that attract me to the opposite sex/another person

1.       A perfect ratio of nerdiness to normalcy

2.       Good spelling and punctuation (must have better grammar than my high school students or else it’s weird)

3.       Humor that aligns with mine

4.       Nice teeth

5.       Decent style (or generally positive awareness of what they wear)

6.       Nice hands (not too rough, not too girly, appropriately sized to mine)

7.       Not ugly shoes (a weird deal breaker, bad shoes and you’re out)

7 things that I say most often

1.       “Medium”

2.       “Yo”

3.       “We’re going to die”

4.       “Wildly.” Or “Mildly”

5.       “Bitch ass hoe”

6.       “Really?  Because I thought…” (Said in a deeply sarcastic valley girl voice in response to most obvious statements)

7.       “Safety”

7 celebrity crushes

1.       Joseph Gordon-Levitt

2.       Alec Baldwin

3.       “The Rock” Dwayne Johnson (Loooooooveeee him)

4.       Adam Brody

5.       Jesse Williams

6.       Ryan Gosling

7.       Pauly D

Napoleon Chronicles - Part 4

All photos courtesy of Nicolas Johnson

Location - Port Townsend

Taking Action

So I've been joking over the last few weeks about my "life makeover" and how I want to start improving myself and my life physically, emotionally, etc.  Then last weekend I was in BC for the weekend visiting some old friends and while we were used book shopping I stumbled across a book titled "Life Makeovers". Obviously I bought it and concluded that I will work my way through it.

The book is organized in a series of 52 chapters, one for each week, with topics and action plans to go along with each week.  This week's lesson was all about starting off by acknowledging any successes I have already experienced.  The goal was to make a list of 25 things that I am proud of or that I have accomplished in the last 12 months.  Here goes -

1. I graduated from five years of university with two Bachelors Degrees.
2. I built and strengthened some of my closest friendships this year.
3. I took a risk and went on a blind date :)
4. I grew and developed as a teacher and educator.
5. Re-discovered a love of learning.
6. Redecorated and painted my room.
7. Began raising a happy, healthy puppy.
8. Built positive relationships with young adolescents.
9. Invested in my relationships with my parents.
10. Kept the "new car smell" in my car for at least 8 months!
11. I am learning to be responsible and good to myself.
12. I have continued to journal regularly since I was 15.
13. I became a person who enjoys drinking tea.
14. I made more than 10 new friends.
15. I have maintained the ability to laugh at myself.
16. I can be funny on occasion.
17. I have weathered a storm with my family and within my family.
18. I helped out a friend in need.
19. Began to make fitness a priority in my life.
20. I was asked to be in three weddings.
21. Kept in touch with many of my students from Hansen.
22. Had a successful interview.
23. Taught slang to a Japanese exchange student.
24. I got straight A's in my final year of university.
25. Decided that I want to live my best life.