Sounding Like My Mother

I was reading through another teacher’s blog and came across this post that was too relevant to be ignored.  I will now give you my personal take on the same issue: The following is a list of Things I Hear All Day Which Raise My Blood Pressure and Cause Things to Come Out of My Mouth Which Sound Like My Mother. 

1.       “Do we have to?”

a.       Said seriously by students at LEAST twice each block – as if I just accidentally ask them to follow random sets of directions that I don’t really mean.  I just enjoy using my voice excessive amounts.  Especially near the end of the day where I have already wrestled with four classes of daft teenagers.  But for fun I’ll ask you to do something I don’t ACTUALLY want you to do – optional – for fun.

b.      Typically I answer with a snarky “What do YOU think?” or an evil glare.

2.       “How long does it have to be?”

a.      My favorite answer to this question that I will now be incorporating into my classroom was found by this blog author at a writing conference “The response should be like a girls skirt: short enough to be interesting, but long enough to cover the topic.”  Obviously.

3.       “This is too hard.”

a.     You know what else is too hard?  My fist.  Shut up.

4.       "Is this for marks?”

a.     I always say yes.  Even if I’m not going to collect it.  Or sometimes I collect it and then just hand it back.  For fun.  I know that a conversation about how this work will help them later on despite the fact that THIS particular assignment is not being marked will only result in 70% of the class failing to complete the assignment.

5.       “Are we watching a movie today?

                a. We just finished watching a movie yesterday and though it is so convenient for me it is not practical nor is it professional for me to show you random Hollywood films everyday in class and you are NOT stupid enough to believe that I will do that. So stop asking.  Because you know the answer.

I'm sure there are and will be many more, perhaps I'll update as they come to me.

Sevens

Courtesy of PigsTales circa 2005.

7 things I plan to do before I die

1.       Road trip the United States (visiting every state goes along with this dream)

2.       Live “somewhere else” for a summer…or two.

3.       Go skiing

4.       Travel to at least 4 continents

5.       Own a house

6.       Get married

7.       Never live without the ocean

7 things I can do

1.       Jigsaw puzzles.

2.       Read aloud well

3.       Tell a good story

4.       Use wild hand gestures when speaking

5.       Get an excellent tan

6.       Remember the words to many songs

7.       Complain

7 things I cannot do

1.       Say no

2.       Resist my obsessive/compulsive personality

3.       Play sports that involve a ball or any type of coordination

4.       Eat quickly (or at a normal pace)

5.       Listen to music in the car without singing along

6.       Walk in heels

7.       Choose

7 things that attract me to the opposite sex/another person

1.       A perfect ratio of nerdiness to normalcy

2.       Good spelling and punctuation (must have better grammar than my high school students or else it’s weird)

3.       Humor that aligns with mine

4.       Nice teeth

5.       Decent style (or generally positive awareness of what they wear)

6.       Nice hands (not too rough, not too girly, appropriately sized to mine)

7.       Not ugly shoes (a weird deal breaker, bad shoes and you’re out)

7 things that I say most often

1.       “Medium”

2.       “Yo”

3.       “We’re going to die”

4.       “Wildly.” Or “Mildly”

5.       “Bitch ass hoe”

6.       “Really?  Because I thought…” (Said in a deeply sarcastic valley girl voice in response to most obvious statements)

7.       “Safety”

7 celebrity crushes

1.       Joseph Gordon-Levitt

2.       Alec Baldwin

3.       “The Rock” Dwayne Johnson (Loooooooveeee him)

4.       Adam Brody

5.       Jesse Williams

6.       Ryan Gosling

7.       Pauly D

Napoleon Chronicles - Part 4

All photos courtesy of Nicolas Johnson

Location - Port Townsend

Taking Action

So I've been joking over the last few weeks about my "life makeover" and how I want to start improving myself and my life physically, emotionally, etc.  Then last weekend I was in BC for the weekend visiting some old friends and while we were used book shopping I stumbled across a book titled "Life Makeovers". Obviously I bought it and concluded that I will work my way through it.

The book is organized in a series of 52 chapters, one for each week, with topics and action plans to go along with each week.  This week's lesson was all about starting off by acknowledging any successes I have already experienced.  The goal was to make a list of 25 things that I am proud of or that I have accomplished in the last 12 months.  Here goes -

1. I graduated from five years of university with two Bachelors Degrees.
2. I built and strengthened some of my closest friendships this year.
3. I took a risk and went on a blind date :)
4. I grew and developed as a teacher and educator.
5. Re-discovered a love of learning.
6. Redecorated and painted my room.
7. Began raising a happy, healthy puppy.
8. Built positive relationships with young adolescents.
9. Invested in my relationships with my parents.
10. Kept the "new car smell" in my car for at least 8 months!
11. I am learning to be responsible and good to myself.
12. I have continued to journal regularly since I was 15.
13. I became a person who enjoys drinking tea.
14. I made more than 10 new friends.
15. I have maintained the ability to laugh at myself.
16. I can be funny on occasion.
17. I have weathered a storm with my family and within my family.
18. I helped out a friend in need.
19. Began to make fitness a priority in my life.
20. I was asked to be in three weddings.
21. Kept in touch with many of my students from Hansen.
22. Had a successful interview.
23. Taught slang to a Japanese exchange student.
24. I got straight A's in my final year of university.
25. Decided that I want to live my best life.

Photo Journal - July 18th, 2011

Jaden

Matthew

Napoleon - 5 months

Napoleon and his best friend Charlie

Matthew and Napoleon take a nap

Napoleon Chronicles / Employment Rambles

Puppy motherhood is a challenge, full of blessings and curses.  Napoleon, while wonderfully endearing is also a bit of a terror.  Firstly there is his tendency to eat only OTHER dog's food, which not only gets him abused by other dogs but also makes him sick...yet he continues to neglect his own food in favor of the oversized pieces that make him ill.  I think we can safely classify that as an eating disorder.  Perhaps I should get him counselling.
In addition to this sneaky habit he refuses to use his inside voice while in the house.  This becomes a problem in the mornings when he and I (being creatures of the morning rather than the night) roam the house attending to our morning duties and he repeatedly demands my attention (or in more cases the attention of whatever toy he is currently wrestling) with his loud high pitched shrill bark of death immediately waking everyone else in the house. It also becomes annoying when one is attempting to focus on an important phone call in a separate room.  He camps outside the door projecting his bark as loud as possible to ensure that it carries through the wood of the door to make sure that I hear that he desires my attention.
I might resort to beating him.
Jokes.
For all his faults as soon as he falls asleep in my lap or does his cute little growl noise or cuddles with Rosie or  kisses my nose, I am completely in love with him all over again. I can't wait to take him camping for the first time next month!

I spent the better part of yesterday searching district websites for jobs.  I printed a stack of paperwork and created a series of To Do Lists in an effort to secure employment for this fall - I then had a panic attack and rambled for hours to the Crankins who probably now think I am on drugs.
Besides how nice it would be to have money I could really care less if I obtain full time employment next year, the absence of a job would just give me permission to live out some of the dreams I've been having lately but the social pressure to fill that void in my life is remarkable.  It seems that society largely evaluates people based on their ability to secure and maintain a job, and then ranks them based on what that job is.  As if the fact that I have not signed a contract by mid-July is a sign that I am lacking in certain characteristics or skills and therefore implies that I am inferior to those who have already answered that question.

I think an absence is in order.

My Transformation Into a Rabid Beast

Okay - so long story short (but not so long since it happened unexpectedly over two days) I met a guy - Dr. Handsome we like to call him - and for some reason he found my awkwardness charming enough to randomly engage me in conversation at the town festival.  Through a series of events that include both physical contact a joke about touching my boobs and the admittance that he would like to ask me out but is freshly ending a relationship he ended up with my number.

TWO WHOLE DAYS and no call from the man who has irrevocably stolen my heart. (That's melodramatic sarcasm for those who can't read between my hastily typed lines).

I expect the call will never come which is why I have begun my recovery process!  Yesterday E and I went and hung out with our two favorite waiters from the Brewery here in town (we're classy gals and are now regulars at all of the local establishments that will serve us alcohol - meaning the two where murders have not yet occurred).  We went to Lincoln Park with Napoleon and played Lava Monster on the logs, went on the swings and then out for beers where I bit the one boy who tried to drown my last onion ring in ketchup.

Yup.  Swift and smooth recovery.  I have now become a rabid female feasting on the limbs of unsuspecting males.  My last boyfriend would probably argue that no transformation has occurred and that I have always been this way.  Which is promising for my dating future...

I will leave you with a photo of Napoleon and I at the Folklife Festival at Seattle Center a few weeks ago.  He has since grown too large to be comfortably worn in my jacket.  I have yet to pass the rabies on to him.

EDIT: Let's take a vote - does this story count toward achieving Number 80 on my "100 List"?  I didn't actually ask him out...and we have not gone on a date.  Though the number does not specify that that stranger needs to say yes, only that I need ask.  Which I guess I didn't...but I'd like you all to weigh in on this.