Sounding Like My Mother

I was reading through another teacher’s blog and came across this post that was too relevant to be ignored.  I will now give you my personal take on the same issue: The following is a list of Things I Hear All Day Which Raise My Blood Pressure and Cause Things to Come Out of My Mouth Which Sound Like My Mother. 

1.       “Do we have to?”

a.       Said seriously by students at LEAST twice each block – as if I just accidentally ask them to follow random sets of directions that I don’t really mean.  I just enjoy using my voice excessive amounts.  Especially near the end of the day where I have already wrestled with four classes of daft teenagers.  But for fun I’ll ask you to do something I don’t ACTUALLY want you to do – optional – for fun.

b.      Typically I answer with a snarky “What do YOU think?” or an evil glare.

2.       “How long does it have to be?”

a.      My favorite answer to this question that I will now be incorporating into my classroom was found by this blog author at a writing conference “The response should be like a girls skirt: short enough to be interesting, but long enough to cover the topic.”  Obviously.

3.       “This is too hard.”

a.     You know what else is too hard?  My fist.  Shut up.

4.       "Is this for marks?”

a.     I always say yes.  Even if I’m not going to collect it.  Or sometimes I collect it and then just hand it back.  For fun.  I know that a conversation about how this work will help them later on despite the fact that THIS particular assignment is not being marked will only result in 70% of the class failing to complete the assignment.

5.       “Are we watching a movie today?

                a. We just finished watching a movie yesterday and though it is so convenient for me it is not practical nor is it professional for me to show you random Hollywood films everyday in class and you are NOT stupid enough to believe that I will do that. So stop asking.  Because you know the answer.

I'm sure there are and will be many more, perhaps I'll update as they come to me.

Sevens

Courtesy of PigsTales circa 2005.

7 things I plan to do before I die

1.       Road trip the United States (visiting every state goes along with this dream)

2.       Live “somewhere else” for a summer…or two.

3.       Go skiing

4.       Travel to at least 4 continents

5.       Own a house

6.       Get married

7.       Never live without the ocean

7 things I can do

1.       Jigsaw puzzles.

2.       Read aloud well

3.       Tell a good story

4.       Use wild hand gestures when speaking

5.       Get an excellent tan

6.       Remember the words to many songs

7.       Complain

7 things I cannot do

1.       Say no

2.       Resist my obsessive/compulsive personality

3.       Play sports that involve a ball or any type of coordination

4.       Eat quickly (or at a normal pace)

5.       Listen to music in the car without singing along

6.       Walk in heels

7.       Choose

7 things that attract me to the opposite sex/another person

1.       A perfect ratio of nerdiness to normalcy

2.       Good spelling and punctuation (must have better grammar than my high school students or else it’s weird)

3.       Humor that aligns with mine

4.       Nice teeth

5.       Decent style (or generally positive awareness of what they wear)

6.       Nice hands (not too rough, not too girly, appropriately sized to mine)

7.       Not ugly shoes (a weird deal breaker, bad shoes and you’re out)

7 things that I say most often

1.       “Medium”

2.       “Yo”

3.       “We’re going to die”

4.       “Wildly.” Or “Mildly”

5.       “Bitch ass hoe”

6.       “Really?  Because I thought…” (Said in a deeply sarcastic valley girl voice in response to most obvious statements)

7.       “Safety”

7 celebrity crushes

1.       Joseph Gordon-Levitt

2.       Alec Baldwin

3.       “The Rock” Dwayne Johnson (Loooooooveeee him)

4.       Adam Brody

5.       Jesse Williams

6.       Ryan Gosling

7.       Pauly D

Napoleon Chronicles - Part 4

All photos courtesy of Nicolas Johnson

Location - Port Townsend

Taking Action

So I've been joking over the last few weeks about my "life makeover" and how I want to start improving myself and my life physically, emotionally, etc.  Then last weekend I was in BC for the weekend visiting some old friends and while we were used book shopping I stumbled across a book titled "Life Makeovers". Obviously I bought it and concluded that I will work my way through it.

The book is organized in a series of 52 chapters, one for each week, with topics and action plans to go along with each week.  This week's lesson was all about starting off by acknowledging any successes I have already experienced.  The goal was to make a list of 25 things that I am proud of or that I have accomplished in the last 12 months.  Here goes -

1. I graduated from five years of university with two Bachelors Degrees.
2. I built and strengthened some of my closest friendships this year.
3. I took a risk and went on a blind date :)
4. I grew and developed as a teacher and educator.
5. Re-discovered a love of learning.
6. Redecorated and painted my room.
7. Began raising a happy, healthy puppy.
8. Built positive relationships with young adolescents.
9. Invested in my relationships with my parents.
10. Kept the "new car smell" in my car for at least 8 months!
11. I am learning to be responsible and good to myself.
12. I have continued to journal regularly since I was 15.
13. I became a person who enjoys drinking tea.
14. I made more than 10 new friends.
15. I have maintained the ability to laugh at myself.
16. I can be funny on occasion.
17. I have weathered a storm with my family and within my family.
18. I helped out a friend in need.
19. Began to make fitness a priority in my life.
20. I was asked to be in three weddings.
21. Kept in touch with many of my students from Hansen.
22. Had a successful interview.
23. Taught slang to a Japanese exchange student.
24. I got straight A's in my final year of university.
25. Decided that I want to live my best life.

Photo Journal - July 18th, 2011

Jaden

Matthew

Napoleon - 5 months

Napoleon and his best friend Charlie

Matthew and Napoleon take a nap

Napoleon Chronicles / Employment Rambles

Puppy motherhood is a challenge, full of blessings and curses.  Napoleon, while wonderfully endearing is also a bit of a terror.  Firstly there is his tendency to eat only OTHER dog's food, which not only gets him abused by other dogs but also makes him sick...yet he continues to neglect his own food in favor of the oversized pieces that make him ill.  I think we can safely classify that as an eating disorder.  Perhaps I should get him counselling.
In addition to this sneaky habit he refuses to use his inside voice while in the house.  This becomes a problem in the mornings when he and I (being creatures of the morning rather than the night) roam the house attending to our morning duties and he repeatedly demands my attention (or in more cases the attention of whatever toy he is currently wrestling) with his loud high pitched shrill bark of death immediately waking everyone else in the house. It also becomes annoying when one is attempting to focus on an important phone call in a separate room.  He camps outside the door projecting his bark as loud as possible to ensure that it carries through the wood of the door to make sure that I hear that he desires my attention.
I might resort to beating him.
Jokes.
For all his faults as soon as he falls asleep in my lap or does his cute little growl noise or cuddles with Rosie or  kisses my nose, I am completely in love with him all over again. I can't wait to take him camping for the first time next month!

I spent the better part of yesterday searching district websites for jobs.  I printed a stack of paperwork and created a series of To Do Lists in an effort to secure employment for this fall - I then had a panic attack and rambled for hours to the Crankins who probably now think I am on drugs.
Besides how nice it would be to have money I could really care less if I obtain full time employment next year, the absence of a job would just give me permission to live out some of the dreams I've been having lately but the social pressure to fill that void in my life is remarkable.  It seems that society largely evaluates people based on their ability to secure and maintain a job, and then ranks them based on what that job is.  As if the fact that I have not signed a contract by mid-July is a sign that I am lacking in certain characteristics or skills and therefore implies that I am inferior to those who have already answered that question.

I think an absence is in order.

My Transformation Into a Rabid Beast

Okay - so long story short (but not so long since it happened unexpectedly over two days) I met a guy - Dr. Handsome we like to call him - and for some reason he found my awkwardness charming enough to randomly engage me in conversation at the town festival.  Through a series of events that include both physical contact a joke about touching my boobs and the admittance that he would like to ask me out but is freshly ending a relationship he ended up with my number.

TWO WHOLE DAYS and no call from the man who has irrevocably stolen my heart. (That's melodramatic sarcasm for those who can't read between my hastily typed lines).

I expect the call will never come which is why I have begun my recovery process!  Yesterday E and I went and hung out with our two favorite waiters from the Brewery here in town (we're classy gals and are now regulars at all of the local establishments that will serve us alcohol - meaning the two where murders have not yet occurred).  We went to Lincoln Park with Napoleon and played Lava Monster on the logs, went on the swings and then out for beers where I bit the one boy who tried to drown my last onion ring in ketchup.

Yup.  Swift and smooth recovery.  I have now become a rabid female feasting on the limbs of unsuspecting males.  My last boyfriend would probably argue that no transformation has occurred and that I have always been this way.  Which is promising for my dating future...

I will leave you with a photo of Napoleon and I at the Folklife Festival at Seattle Center a few weeks ago.  He has since grown too large to be comfortably worn in my jacket.  I have yet to pass the rabies on to him.

EDIT: Let's take a vote - does this story count toward achieving Number 80 on my "100 List"?  I didn't actually ask him out...and we have not gone on a date.  Though the number does not specify that that stranger needs to say yes, only that I need ask.  Which I guess I didn't...but I'd like you all to weigh in on this.

100 Things To Do Before I Die

A few weeks ago I was on the most fabulous vacation of my life with two of the best friends I have ever or will ever have (many bold statements right there).  While I was on that trip I took some time in the sun to brainstorm a list of approximately 100 things I would like to do before I die.  I'm nearly a quarter of the way through my hypothetical life span and it seemed like an appropriate time to do some goal setting.  Here is the list as it stands in no particular order:

1. Buy everyone in the bar a drink.
2. Visit India.
3. Swim with dolphins.
4. Visit Egypt/the pyramids.
5. Learn what love is.
6. Buy a bathtub big enough for two.
7. Sleep on a sailboat.
8. See the Northern Lights.
9. Watch a coastal sunrise.
10. Road trip around the U.S. alone.
11. Grow a garden.
12. Ride in a hot air balloon.
13. Have a legitimate food fight.
14. Gamble in Vegas.
15. Take a sick day when I'm not ill.
16. Ride a REALLY scary rollercoaster.
17. Adopt an accent for a whole day.
18. Take language classes.
19. Visit Spain.
20. Visit all 50 States.
21. Dance with a stranger in a foreign country.
22. Go whale watching.
23. Take a trip around Europe.
24. Live alone.
25. Visit Italy.
26. Eat a meal with a stranger.
27. Have a "library".
28. Stay in bed ALL day.
29. Kiss in monsoon-like rain.
30. Mud-wrestle.
31. Visit the Great Wall of China.
32. Take a recreational class.
33. Get married?
34. Fast for a day.
35. Visit the Amazon.
36. Record music.
37. Eat alligator/crocodile.
38. Buy a house.
39. Live in the downtown core of a city.
40. Get a Brazilian wax.
41. Go on a cruise.
42. Punch someone in the face.
43. Take a bicycle trip.
44. Pick up and move to another city to start over.
45. Walk the Brooklyn Bridge.
46. Ride a motorcycle.
47. Fire a gun.
48. Raft part of the Grand Canyon.
49. Go on an African Safari.
50. Go horseback riding on the beach.
51. Visit at least 50 foreign countries.
52. Change someone's mind about something.
53. Get a Masters Degree.
54. Attend a major U.S. university.
55. Read the Lord of the Rings Trilogy.
56. Select one author and read ALL of their books.
57. Teach myself how to do something new.
58. Attend a high school reunion.
59. Go to a major sporting event (The Olympics, Super Bowl, etc).
60. Throw a HUGE party.
61. Buy an expensive piece of art.
62. Attend a college reunion.
63. Write the story of my life.
64. Own a room with a view.
65. Learn how to take a compliment.
66. Give back to my parents.
67. Drive to the tip of South America with Merissa and Chantelle.
68. Go on a honeymoon.
69. Get to know my neighbors.
70. Plant a willow tree.
71. Learn to say no.
72. Visit the White House.
73. Read while drifting in a row boat.
74. Stay out all night partying.
75. Feel beautiful.
76. Be someone's mentor.
77. Set a goal and achieve it.
78. Spend New Years abroad.
79. Give a great performance.
80. Ask a "stranger" on a date.
81. Go to the Mardi Gra Festival.
82. Spend an entire day reading for pleasure.
83. Get in shape.  Once.  For a little while.
84. Drive a convertible with the top down.
85. Go to a huge rock concert.
86. Do my own taxes.
87. Go fishing at eat my catch.
88. Visit the Statue of Liberty.
89. Go skiing.
90. Learn to bartend.
91. Run in a charity race.
92. Coach a sport/activity.
93. Ride an elephant.
94. Learn to surf.
95. Live at a campground for a summer.
96. Cook my way through a cookbook.
97. Learn to drive standard.
98. Follow in the footsteps of a favorite book.
99. Read the entire Bible.
100. Visit a volcano.
101. Make a book of photographs from my travels.
102. Decorate my own home.
103. Be in my brother's wedding.

Swearing on God's Holy Campus

Today I locked my keys in my running vehicle while my puppy was inside with the lights and windshield wipers on.  I then had to wait an hour and a half for the tow truck to arrive while I stood outside in the pouring rain wearing a dress and no jacket and then paid the man $60 to spend 30 seconds popping open my door.  It was the worst ever and I spent much of that time stomping around my deserted former college campus swearing loudly.  I'm sure God was offended and that's why He didn't miraculously open my doors for me when I asked. BAH.

Pacing

There is a boy outside my house right now pacing.  And staring in the window of the house across the street.  And every once in awhile he rubs his eyes and stares longingly.  It’s great!  It’s like a scene from a bad romantic comedy that also has a teen storyline to attract younger audiences.  He looks to be about 16 and is wearing some sort of comic book tshirt and glasses with transition lenses. 

Okay now he’s looking at me in here, what do I do?  Smile?  Look away – I’ve looked away.  Deeply focused on my computer.

He’s taken several steps into the road now staring at the house…now he’s sulking back to the sidewalk.  I have an urge to go ask him what he’s waiting for – but then he might say something like “My drug dealer” or “None of your effing business” and then the romance of the moment will be lost.  The romance between him and the mystery girl that I imagine he’s waiting to notice him out the window of that townhouse.

Oh the things I will do to put off writing my final paper.

Napoleon Chronicles - Part 3

Here is a video I put together of Napoleon's first weeks including a trip to the beach, his first playtime with some of my friends and his favorite toy: an empty Starbucks cup!

Napoleon Chronicles - Part 2

Napoleon spent his first night without Mom the other day while I drove out to Agassiz for Wade and Lenica's wedding!! It was a beautiful wedding but all I could think about was getting home for some more cuddle time with my little boy!!!  Auntie Erica took good care of him though.

The End of an Era

Second to last day here at RHSS for little Ms. F

I finished my e-portfolio this morning and tested it on my teacher's laptop and desktop to make sure I'm all squared away.  It's a weird feeling not having that project looming over my head anymore - surreal.

After I finished checking over my portfolio I cleared the rest of my desk which just looks desolate now.

The grade 10 class is watching Avatar to learn about the abuse of indigenous people throughout the history of North America and my SA was asking which part they had gotten to while he loaded the DVD.  As the DVD Menu began one student started to freak and yell, "WHOA!  We haven't gotten here yet!"  It was funny...because it was just the DVD menu.

Tonight are parent/teacher conferences - we'll see if I emerge with any interesting stories.

Countdown to Napoleon: 5 days

There's No Way of Knowing

Video Blog - April 18th, 2011

Good English

Here is the scene in the hallway this morning:

It is roughly 10:51 in the morning and students are gathering in the hallway to watch Hurricane Studioworks the high school's video news program.  Today is a particularly exciting day because they are doing a mini feature on ME!  That's right - a tremendously embarrassing string of footage where I tell stories about the ghetto girls in my high school and laugh unattractively for all to see.  Before this however the two "news anchors" for the day delivered the daily announcements.  As the female anchor, a clearly Americanized Asian student, probably grade eleven or twelve, reads her portion with great enthusiasm and cheer one of my grade nine students (we call him "Jungle Boy" for his rendition of "The Lion Sleeps Tonight" that he performed at Hansen Idol), he crosses his arms while nodding knowingly and says "She's got good English."  I turn to him - barely able to contain my mirth - and say "Jungle Boy, she's not an exchange student."  His face promptly turned as red as his hair and we all had a good giggle (which later turned into a private laugh-fest for me in my classroom).  This adorably ignorant boy was impressed by her English skills.  Love it.  Now in his defense RHSS does currently have a group of exchange students here from Thailand who were introduced on the program sometime last week - but I still found this brief exchange hilarious.  I mean the girl doesn't even have the trace of an accent!  And this is Canada!  It is not surprising to come across an Asian student!  Hilarious I tell you.

Move in date!

I just wanted to announce that it is official! Napoleon will be moving in on Monday April 25th!
J and I are heading down to visit the family for the Easter holiday and on Monday we will stop to pick up Napoleon!
I will keep you posted about my upcoming week of school which will be my last four days at Hansen.

The ABC's of Teaching

Today I was privileged to be part of a photo shoot done by Rachel Raymond (check out her incredible blog and the rest of the photos here).  My three friends and I had somehow managed to make it through a majority of the school year without a single photo of us, which we rectified this afternoon in front of an abandoned school house (I may have to get a tetanus shot now - there's no way of knowing).  Thanks to Rachel for this fabulous shoot, we have already enjoyed hours of laughter over these photos that are both flattering, character capturing and highly amusing :)

Napoleon Chronicles - Part 1

I forgot my headphones today.  It’s brutal.  I can’t get any work done – so instead I’m just resigned to working on report cards. 

This weekend I met my puppy!  You might remember in my last post how I mentioned moping about how I wanted to adopt this puppy that I would hypothetically name Napoleon.  This week I made the decision that the amount of happiness I would feel over getting to adopt this little guy into my home far outweighs any discomfort I might feel over having to spend money that I don't really want to spend.  So I drove out to Silverdale (a GORGEOUS part of Washington, I loved the pace of life out there).  At one point I drove underneath a bridge with the phrase "Celebrating Nature and Community" and I knew that this was exactly where I want to end up someday.  I traveled down a long road with cross streets named things like "Redfern", "Quiet View" and "Left Wing" until the road ended and a long gravel private drive continued down into the forest.  Just when I thought that I had taken some sort of wrong turn and I would never find their address I came to the home of Brenda and Alan at Cedarmist Cavaliers and they could not have been more welcoming!  The puppies were so cute!  There were originally two litters but Napoleon's brother (now named Mario and living happily I imagine out in Eastern Washington) had gone home the day before so it was just him along with another litter.  They were two days younger than him but noticeably larger.  


I got to meet his mom "True" and her sisters who were all beautiful. I sat on the floor playing with him for almost an hour while he dashed about the room.  He has the smallest little nose and these tiny teeth (when I say tiny you have absolutely no idea how tiny).  He would run across the room and then trip and do a full somersault before hopping up and rushing about again.  As is typical for a puppy he managed to head directly for the computer cord and proceeded to chew on it, so we had to continuously redirect his attention.  Finally he settled down and I took him into my lap and he nuzzled into my shirt and started to nap.  It was the greatest moment of my life.

20 days until he is mine!  

ILoveDisney06

Several rambly thoughts of the day:

1.       I am just not in a phase of my life where I desire children.  It isn’t just that I don’t desire them…I am repulsed by the idea of having little babies running around my house.  I met a woman in the store the other day who described children as “pets that live longer than you!”  Which brings me to the unfortunate fact that educated Americans are choosing more and more often to not have children, while the uneducated Americans continue to pop them out every time they turn around. 

Now I can’t decide whether this information should make me want children MORE or less.  Should I attempt to counteract the growing stupidity in North America by producing my own offspring (who will undoubtedly be brilliant as well as good looking)?  Or should I avoid procreating in an effort to fight global overpopulation?  Who would my child play with?  Who would they marry?  If the statistics are right then the pool of intelligent mates will be even SMALLER than the one I am currently fishing in! (Which brings me to another good point – I may never find a male who appeals to me as a baby daddy).

2.       I have spent the morning marking the unit tests I gave the last week of school before Spring Break and the laughter has not stopped.  Can you tell the difference between a grade 12 answer and a grade 9 answer?

Here are some of my favorite answers (complete with spelling and grammatical structure – and yes, these are all native English speakers):

“People now have a perception on a certical race of people believe that since thens a lot more Indo-Canadias there is going to be a lot more gangs that equel death.”

“Crime has gone upe”

“They weren’t fair Because they didn’t like the FARMERS!”

“Yes, it’s a idea to smart up.”

“Lord Durham was important because he started a rebellion.  He tried to wange the people but failed when the rebellion moved to London he didn’t know what to do which made the Queen angry and embarassed.”

"But when the film was getting to the end there relationship changed jurastically." (And no we were not watching Jurassic Park)

3.       Today one of my students from last semester came in and just sat in my classroom for lunch.  Her best friend’s dad died suddenly last week and so she’s been left alone at school each day with no real companions and I told her she was welcome in here with me.  Today she gave me a cookie.  We talked about cancer.  I shared a bit with her about my mom in hopes that it would help her to find some common ground.  I don’t know if that can possibly be comforting to her but I’m glad she stopped by. 

4.       And finally – I have been attempting to track down my AP scores because I need them to send in to finalize my teaching certification since some of them transferred in as university credits.  Unfortunately I made my collegeboard account AGES ago and no longer have access to the email address that I used so I had no way of figuring out my username or password.  Long story short I called them to track down this information and to get a temporary password.  When I asked them if they could give me my username I experienced this horrific early high school flashback.  What was the username I chose to register myself by in order to sign up for my AP tests and SATs?  ILoveDisney06.

Kill me now.  Just shoot me.

Amusing end to a long day

I have just returned from Night Church where a chocolate chip from my muffin fell into my shirt and melted between my boobs creating a large brown stain on my shirt for all to see.

This following a long day of moping about my lack of finances to rescue this adorable puppy who is the runt of his litter and having a hard time finding a family as a result of that.  His foster parents call him "Stash" because he has a little black spot under his nose that looks like a mustache but I think I would name him Napoleon - big personality in a little body.

Anyone willing to loan me $1,200??  Please?  Think of the puppy!

She left a mark

It's been six months but it doesn't feel any less devastating.

She sang songs to let others know how much they are worth - how valuable their lives are.

"My shackled heart is breaking out

There is no doubt it’s breaking out

My yearning soul is content

It’s heaven sent

I am content

All my pain and suffering

Dumping down the drain

And I’m free

Said I’m free"

Carly Henley

See her story here

C-Unit Crushes Dreams

So I successfully put off completing any productive tasks on my To Do list but I did accomplish two insignificant yet humorous tasks.

First, I wrote and performed a rap that I would hypothetically include as my closing statement in an interview for a teaching position.

My name is Chelsea also known as Ms. F
My life calling is the reason why I sit at this desk
Eat sleep and breath - my commitment to your children
I dream of the day when I'll work in this buildin'
Charisma and vitality are positives I bring
No slacking or attacking
I can even sing
Red and yellow black and white
They're ALL precious in my sight
My goal is further growth
Morning noon and night
Thank you for this privilege I hope you've been impressed - by my energy, my empathy and not just by my dress.

The rhythm is a bit difficult to understand unless you hear it performed but at least reading it you can appreciate how much of a weirdo I am.

My second accomplishment of the day was crushing a young child's beautiful and rosy vision of Disneyland and the magic existing within those walls.  I told them a story of the time I was walking in Backstage Disney and I saw Ariel smoking a cigarette.  This thoughtless story was followed by a "They have waterproof cigarettes?" from the youngest child and "I never want to visit a princess again!  They're gross!" from the oldest child.  Nice job Chels.  They tell you about their first trip to Disneyland and you think of the most traumatizing story you could possibly tell about the most magical place on earth.  Nice.

Roommate Chronicles

I have a roommate who talks incessantly.  When I say incessantly I nearly literally mean every moment that she is in the presence of another human (or even when she isn't) she is speaking or making noises.

Her favorite topics include the activities of the other people in the room.  For example as I am walking out the door, "Are you going outside?" (No - I'm teleporting to Narnia, thanks for asking).

Stating the obvious is a related but separate topic - for instance: "I'm on the phone."  Randomly.  No one asked what she was doing or even addressed her (obviously because she's on the phone, that would be rude).  But she makes sure to tell us as though she intends to begin a conversation with us about that.  But she's already talking to someone...on the phone.

Another favorite topic is television shows.  She watches nearly every show in existence and her favorites to bring up are the terrible or obscure shows that normally only old mothers or 13 year old girls watch (typically brought up at times when the "listener" is working hard to avoid conversation or immersed in another task).  I will be sitting on the couch with headphones in (an indicator that I am busy doing something else, not open to random, casual conversation) and she'll attempt to get my attention.  Normally this means the person has something important to say that requires my immediate attention (you know, my car alarm is going off, someone is at the door to see me, have I paid my rent? etc).  But no - with her it's "Do you watch Vampire Diaries?"  No.  I do not.  "Oh well there is this guy, a few episodes he blah blah blah blah....."  Cue intense irritation.

My favorite are the moments where she talks to no one.  One morning I came downstairs to make myself comfortable in a favorite chair with my laptop when I suddenly realized someone was using the downstairs bathroom.  Keep in mind it's roughly 7:15 in the morning and no one else is quite awake yet or they have already left the house.  I hear a voice coming from the bathroom...a voice that doesn't know that I have entered the room, the toilet flushes, the voice says "Whoop!  That's a big guy."  Another flush.  "That's better."  High pitched mumbling or humming ensues.  The air freshener sprays.  "Mmmmmm."

What the hell?

Today she encountered me sitting on the porch (remember that it's the middle of March) and she says "We haven't been sitting outside much lately!  Why is that?"
It's been snowing, raining and below zero.  Why do we need to have a conversation about this?

Sometimes this house feels like my high school classroom.  I may explode from over exposure to idiocy.

Spring Break Countdown

80 – the number of miles I can go before my gas tank is empty and needs to be refilled with my zero dollars

26 – the number of minutes I had with my grade 10s today after the Hansen Idol ran long and before the code yellow evacuation of the school.

24 – the number of students who were pleased that I have now had to cancel their test because their entire review period was taken up by an emergency evacuation and a lame talent competition.

20 – the number of idiot students who are failing or close to failing my class

18 – the number of minutes I had to spend outside with bare legs in the freezing wind.  I knew I should have worn tights today.

12 – the number of contestants who sang at this afternoon’s “Hansen Idol” competition

9 – the number of contestants who sang POORLY at this afternoon’s “Hansen Idol” competition

7 – the number of grade 10 students who have tried to add me on Facebook today.

2 – the number of fires that were intentionally started in our school today by students.

1 – the number of days left until two weeks of Spring Break.

0 – the number of cocktails I have had today…this must change.

It’s times like this where I really wish I still lived in the States and I could just drop by the grocery store and grab a six pack to sit on my couch with.  I know I could get some here but I would pay three times as much for a crappy selection.