Wednesday, June 22, 2011

My Transformation Into a Rabid Beast

Okay - so long story short (but not so long since it happened unexpectedly over two days) I met a guy - Dr. Handsome we like to call him - and for some reason he found my awkwardness charming enough to randomly engage me in conversation at the town festival.  Through a series of events that include both physical contact a joke about touching my boobs and the admittance that he would like to ask me out but is freshly ending a relationship he ended up with my number.

TWO WHOLE DAYS and no call from the man who has irrevocably stolen my heart. (That's melodramatic sarcasm for those who can't read between my hastily typed lines).

I expect the call will never come which is why I have begun my recovery process!  Yesterday E and I went and hung out with our two favorite waiters from the Brewery here in town (we're classy gals and are now regulars at all of the local establishments that will serve us alcohol - meaning the two where murders have not yet occurred).  We went to Lincoln Park with Napoleon and played Lava Monster on the logs, went on the swings and then out for beers where I bit the one boy who tried to drown my last onion ring in ketchup.

Yup.  Swift and smooth recovery.  I have now become a rabid female feasting on the limbs of unsuspecting males.  My last boyfriend would probably argue that no transformation has occurred and that I have always been this way.  Which is promising for my dating future...


I will leave you with a photo of Napoleon and I at the Folklife Festival at Seattle Center a few weeks ago.  He has since grown too large to be comfortably worn in my jacket.  I have yet to pass the rabies on to him.

EDIT: Let's take a vote - does this story count toward achieving Number 80 on my "100 List"?  I didn't actually ask him out...and we have not gone on a date.  Though the number does not specify that that stranger needs to say yes, only that I need ask.  Which I guess I didn't...but I'd like you all to weigh in on this.

Thursday, June 9, 2011

100 Things To Do Before I Die

A few weeks ago I was on the most fabulous vacation of my life with two of the best friends I have ever or will ever have (many bold statements right there).  While I was on that trip I took some time in the sun to brainstorm a list of approximately 100 things I would like to do before I die.  I'm nearly a quarter of the way through my hypothetical life span and it seemed like an appropriate time to do some goal setting.  Here is the list as it stands in no particular order:

1. Buy everyone in the bar a drink.
2. Visit India.
3. Swim with dolphins.
4. Visit Egypt/the pyramids.
5. Learn what love is.
6. Buy a bathtub big enough for two.
7. Sleep on a sailboat.
8. See the Northern Lights.
9. Watch a coastal sunrise.
10. Road trip around the U.S. alone.
11. Grow a garden.
12. Ride in a hot air balloon.
13. Have a legitimate food fight.
14. Gamble in Vegas.
15. Take a sick day when I'm not ill.
16. Ride a REALLY scary rollercoaster.
17. Adopt an accent for a whole day.
18. Take language classes.
19. Visit Spain.
20. Visit all 50 States.
21. Dance with a stranger in a foreign country.
22. Go whale watching.
23. Take a trip around Europe.
24. Live alone.
25. Visit Italy.
26. Eat a meal with a stranger.
27. Have a "library".
28. Stay in bed ALL day.
29. Kiss in monsoon-like rain.
30. Mud-wrestle.
31. Visit the Great Wall of China.
32. Take a recreational class.
33. Get married?
34. Fast for a day.
35. Visit the Amazon.
36. Record music.
37. Eat alligator/crocodile.
38. Buy a house.
39. Live in the downtown core of a city.
40. Get a Brazilian wax.
41. Go on a cruise.
42. Punch someone in the face.
43. Take a bicycle trip.
44. Pick up and move to another city to start over.
45. Walk the Brooklyn Bridge.
46. Ride a motorcycle.
47. Fire a gun.
48. Raft part of the Grand Canyon.
49. Go on an African Safari.
50. Go horseback riding on the beach.
51. Visit at least 50 foreign countries.
52. Change someone's mind about something.
53. Get a Masters Degree.
54. Attend a major U.S. university.
55. Read the Lord of the Rings Trilogy.
56. Select one author and read ALL of their books.
57. Teach myself how to do something new.
58. Attend a high school reunion.
59. Go to a major sporting event (The Olympics, Super Bowl, etc).
60. Throw a HUGE party.
61. Buy an expensive piece of art.
62. Attend a college reunion.
63. Write the story of my life.
64. Own a room with a view.
65. Learn how to take a compliment.
66. Give back to my parents.
67. Drive to the tip of South America with Merissa and Chantelle.
68. Go on a honeymoon.
69. Get to know my neighbors.
70. Plant a willow tree.
71. Learn to say no.
72. Visit the White House.
73. Read while drifting in a row boat.
74. Stay out all night partying.
75. Feel beautiful.
76. Be someone's mentor.
77. Set a goal and achieve it.
78. Spend New Years abroad.
79. Give a great performance.
80. Ask a "stranger" on a date.
81. Go to the Mardi Gra Festival.
82. Spend an entire day reading for pleasure.
83. Get in shape.  Once.  For a little while.
84. Drive a convertible with the top down.
85. Go to a huge rock concert.
86. Do my own taxes.
87. Go fishing at eat my catch.
88. Visit the Statue of Liberty.
89. Go skiing.
90. Learn to bartend.
91. Run in a charity race.
92. Coach a sport/activity.
93. Ride an elephant.
94. Learn to surf.
95. Live at a campground for a summer.
96. Cook my way through a cookbook.
97. Learn to drive standard.
98. Follow in the footsteps of a favorite book.
99. Read the entire Bible.
100. Visit a volcano.
101. Make a book of photographs from my travels.
102. Decorate my own home.
103. Be in my brother's wedding.