I was reading through another teacher’s blog and came across this post that was too relevant to be ignored. I will now give you my personal take on the same issue: The following is a list of Things I Hear All Day Which Raise My Blood Pressure and Cause Things to Come Out of My Mouth Which Sound Like My Mother.
1. “Do we have to?”
a. Said seriously by students at LEAST twice each block – as if I just accidentally ask them to follow random sets of directions that I don’t really mean. I just enjoy using my voice excessive amounts. Especially near the end of the day where I have already wrestled with four classes of daft teenagers. But for fun I’ll ask you to do something I don’t ACTUALLY want you to do – optional – for fun.
b. Typically I answer with a snarky “What do YOU think?” or an evil glare.
2. “How long does it have to be?”
a. My favorite answer to this question that I will now be incorporating into my classroom was found by this blog author at a writing conference “The response should be like a girls skirt: short enough to be interesting, but long enough to cover the topic.” Obviously.
3. “This is too hard.”
a. You know what else is too hard? My fist. Shut up.
4. "Is this for marks?”
a. I always say yes. Even if I’m not going to collect it. Or sometimes I collect it and then just hand it back. For fun. I know that a conversation about how this work will help them later on despite the fact that THIS particular assignment is not being marked will only result in 70% of the class failing to complete the assignment.
5. “Are we watching a movie today?
a. We just finished watching a movie yesterday and though it is so convenient for me it is not practical nor is it professional for me to show you random Hollywood films everyday in class and you are NOT stupid enough to believe that I will do that. So stop asking. Because you know the answer.
I'm sure there are and will be many more, perhaps I'll update as they come to me.
