Alright, so it’s been about a million years since I’ve posted and a lot has happened that I failed to keep the public updated on so I’ll pick just a few highlights of the past three months or so. In no particular order of time or preference -
Highlight #1 – Started working as a Teacher’s Aid (or in class tutor) at my old high school! Though I have yet to acquire any stories that match the caliber of my students last year there have been some great moments (see Highlight 3).
Highlight #2 – Made friends with the group of grade 10 hoodlums in one of the AVID classes I tutor. Every week without fail they attempt to flatter me into giving them good scores on their tutorial forms and they intentionally skew their questions so that they get placed in my group. This is all beautiful and touching but they are a high maintenance group of blossoming adolescents. Can’t wait for break to be over so I can return to their demanding presence. Seriously though, they’re all little BAH’s but I love them to death.
Highlight #3 – A charming Mexican boy sprayed me with AXE body spray while we were in the library working on his English paragraphs. After he had sniped me with his foul smelling can of death he said “Now all others boys will know I was here…” Creepy much?
Highlight #4 – Got to be a part of my good friend’s wedding! The whole week was a blast and the wedding was a beautiful adventure. Also my hair looked great.
Highlight #5 – This really should have been posted higher on the list but it’s late and I’m feeling wildly disjointed but I met a wonderful man and we have been happily dating for nearly three months now! You would like him (yes you – faceless digital void – whoever you are – you would like him, he’s cheery and cute).
Highlight #6 – I went to Florida and spent about a week traipsing around the various theme parks including DisneyWorld, SeaWorld, Universal Studios/Islands of Adventure (where the Wizarding World of Harry Potter lives) and Busch Gardens. I checked Number 16 off of my List of Things to do Before I Die!!!! I rode SEVERAL really scary roller coasters! The very first one I went on was Manta in SeaWorld – YouTube it. For someone who has/had an illness inducing fear of roller coasters prior to this trip I’d say that’s a pretty brave coaster to sink your teeth into right off the bat. I’m so brave – heap praise and admiration on me please.
Highlight #7 – I had several hateful songs written and published about me. They’re all available for free download out there somewhere on the internet, yippee. I can’t wait to be a famous muse one day. Perhaps I can sue for royalties of some kind, or perhaps defamation. I taught law, I’m sure I can find a loophole to screw her out of not only her boyfriend but her fortune also. I’m such a classy broad.
Highlight #8 – Had kidney stones for the millionth time confirming my suspicions that I am in fact an elderly man trapped inside a 24 year old female’s body.
Highlight #9 – Speaking of 24! I had a birthday! Nearly vomited behind Dick’s Drive-In by the Seattle Center and sang endless amounts of Celine Dion and Dixie Chicks at karaoke. It was my best birthday ever besides the one when the Twilight extra bought us copious amounts of tequila and offered to show me his wang.
Highlight #10 – My brother and I went together to get tattoos last week! He has my signature of our last name on the inside of his left arm and I have it in text on the backside/outside of my left arm. Awww – sibling love.
This is a picture of the tattoo only half done, he went through and filled in all the letters after this was taken but I like this photo.
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